My iPhone 6 review

Here are the things I think about the iPhone 6 after four whole days of using it, divided into Likes and Dislikes.

Likes:

  • The screen is bigger. I don’t know if you noticed that. Some games I like are more fun to play because I don’t have to squint at them. There is more room for stuff on the home page, even if I can’t reach it all. Apps that haven’t been updated yet are easier to read because the type is so big. When they get updated, I will either have to go to zoom mode or go back to squinting. I am a thousand years old.
  • It’s extremely well built, particularly for the first of its form factor. The curved edge feels really nice. I thought the straight edge of the 5s was really nice, but now I don’t know what I was thinking. Who was I back then? I don’t even know that person anymore. I keep my iPhone in the same pocket as my car keys, currently with no case, and so far it’s showed not one sign of wear.
  • It’s thin. Delightfully so.
  • I got the 64 GB model and can now fill it with more crap, much of which I’ll never look at. I’m very happy about that. I have a friend with a 32 GB 5s and he’s a total loser now.
  • It has new things. Like the thing you can use to buy more things with. I haven’t used that thing yet, but I’m looking forward to using it someday. I think maybe it has some other things, too.
  • I have not noticed better battery life, but considering the fact that I’m using it pretty much non-stop because BIG PHONE! BIG PHONE! I think it’s doing pretty well.

Dislikes:

  • Because it’s larger, I feel like I don’t have as good a grip on it. Also, I still try to reach the top right corner with my thumb by holding the phone without supporting it on the bottom with my pinky. I feel like I’m far more likely to drop this phone because of that. And dropping an iPhone 6 is a major embarrassment, the likes of which gets reported around the globe. I don’t need that. No, sir, I do not.
  • It’s nice that Reachability is there, but the double touch works maybe 80-90 percent of the time for me on the first try. That might sound good, but it means that when I want to reach that app up there, I’m either doing a thing I didn’t have to do with my 5s or I’m doing it twice. Or I’m holding the phone really precariously. Or I’m using my other hand. I’m not happy with any of those solutions but this is the big-phone dystopian future I live in.
  • I worry about the camera lens. I know it’s covered in space-age sapphire (?) which I believe is an indestructible material like adamantium or vibranium or a third made-up material. But it sticks out. It seems like a better thing would be for it to be sticking in, not out. Physics says this is impossible. This quandary¬†keeps me up at night. I pace, sleepless for hours, arguing with physics in my mind. “Isn’t there anything you can do?” I ask physics. Physics says it will have to talk to its manager. It disappears into the back room. I hear voices. Physics returns, shaking its head. It says the best it can do is have the camera lens just stick out “a little”. I close my eyes and when I open them again, physics is gone. Somewhere a dog barks. Then the rain begins to fall. I am inconsolable.

I hope Apple updates the 4-inch form factor next year because much of what made me buy this phone is stuff not related to its bigness. Although, I’m not sure I’d go back. I’m not sure if the 4-inch form factor would have me back now.

Overall, the iPhone 6 is a very nice big phone. I did not particularly want a big phone, but now everything is big phones. You people did this, not me.