That’s the motto of Fake Shower, an app designed to cover the sound of you doing your filthy business by making the sound of water running. As Federico Viticci notes in his review, the app is educational, designed to teach people about water usage.

If you’re not concerned about education — just shame — you can download Eco-Oto, a 99 cent app that makes the sound of a toilet flushing. This also has its roots in conservation too, as keychain devices that make this noise (some made by the same company that makes the Eco-Oto app) came into popularity in Japan because people were flushing the toilet over and over to cover the sound of them being human beings. Filthy, disgusting human beings.

Personally, I just need an app to cover the sound of my 9-year-old using his fart app.