(Via Dan Moren.)

Turns out it wasn’t Apple at all, it was comiXology self-censoring app content based on their belief it wouldn’t be permitted by Apple. Issue #12 will be available via the App Store soon.

I’m sure that’s true to some extent, but let’s consider the fine print.

The following companies have been investment banking clients of Piper Jaffray during the past 12 months: Miller Regan: BAGL, DFRG, IRG, SBUX ; Wissink: KORS, TLYS; Naughton: BDE, NGVC; Tamminga: EXPR, GMAN, RH, ULTA; Munster: AAPL

(Emphasis mine.)

Imagine the reaction in the Apple web community if this were a survey showing teens love Samsung and Samsung were a client of the firm conducting the survey. Well, you don’t really have to imagine it since we go off on that stuff almost hourly.

Fiona Staples:

Unfortunately, because of two postage stamp-sized images of gay sex, Apple is banning tomorrow’s SAGA #12 from being sold through any iOS apps.

(Via Merlin Mann and Phineas X. Jones.)

I’ve only read the first issue of SAGA, which is a kind of wild fantasy space tale in comic format. There’s a little too much going on in it for my simple tastes, but it’s quite well done. However, I can’t help but notice that issue #1 featured a large panel of heterosexual intercourse, admittedly between a couple with televisions for heads. Without having seen issue #12, though, this could easily lead one to the conclusion that it’s the gayness of the sex that Apple objects to.

Hopefully that’s not the case because that would be beeeeeuuuuuulllllllshiiiiiiiiit.

UPDATE: Via Matthew Panzarino, here are the images in question. I had to look pretty closely to notice them, but they’re there. Perhaps it’s erect penises Apple objects to? If only we knew what it was that Apple objected to! Perhaps if there was some sort of list. “Doggie-style man-on-woman = OK! Gay oral sex = not OK.” The stupid thing is, as the creators point out, you might be able to get issue #12 later from iBooks, which is less restricted. Because… duhhhhhhh, no reason.

UPDATE 4/10/2013: Turns out it was comiXology, not Apple. My apologies for suggesting Apple is anything other than totally into erect penises.

CNBC:

JC Penney CEO Ron Johnson is out, a source familiar with the situation said. Mike Ullman will rejoin the company as CEO.

(Via The Next Web.)

Personally, I agree with Matthew Panzarino, he deserved more time. You don’t turn around a crappy aircraft carrier full of chinos, Christmas sweaters and cheap curtains in two years. I liked what he was trying. It made me consider going into a JC Penney again.

Still, I do feel partly responsible. I touched Johnson on the arm at Macworld Expo once. Just one touch, but… kiss of death, apparently. If only we knew someone who needed a Senior Vice President of Retail. OH, WELL.

Attorney Eric Adler:

Apple’s lawyer probably just called up the trademark examiner, pointed out the errors, and convinced her to fix them.

(Via Nilay Patel who’s a good person to follow on Twitter for grounding on these things.)

I saw all kinds of breathless posts about these two actions. Not everything is big deal, people.

Ed Bott reruns Gartner’s latest wild guesses about what the operating system landscape will be in four years. I seriously don’t know why they bother with this exercise other than it makes for headlines with their name in them. Headlines that spin the wrong conclusions, but headlines nonetheless.

Microsoft retains relevance by virtue of being on laptops, but I’m always leery of projected spikes that are predicted in a couple of years, which is what Gartner shows for Windows. Sounds a lot like the old cartoon with the scientists inserting “a miracle happens” in the part of the formula they don’t understand. I guess the theory is the next version of Windows is sure to catch on? Or just that Microsoft always wins eventually because Microsoft? Gartner doesn’t really say in their press release. Go back a couple of years and you’ll see similar spikes were projected for Windows Phone. They didn’t happen, in case you haven’t noticed.

Android’s share goes up the most, but Bott correctly notes that it gets more fragmented into Google, China, Samsung and Amazon flavors, so it’s not exactly a huge win for Google.

While Android goes gangbusters and Microsoft gets a miracle, Gartner predicts Apple will chug along at a steady pace. Because they’re a slow growth company now and are sure not to release anything other than iterative updates forever and ever, the end.

Right.

So, while Bott does help fix the numbers a bit, I’m not sure there’s really any ultimate fixing of these numbers.

Reuters:

Samsung Electronics Co Ltd infringed a key portion of an Apple Inc patent by including a text-selection feature in its smartphones and tablets, an International Trade Commission judge said in a preliminary decision.

…

If it is upheld, the ITC can order any infringing device to be barred from importation into the United States.

Alas, Dan Lyons is no longer here to tell us how this makes Apple look stupid.

[golf clap]

Bravo, tech journalism. Brah. Vo.

Horace Dediu provides the charts for comScore’s numbers which show that Android was never beating the iPhone in the U.S. The two combined were beating BlackBerry.

As distribution is about to increase with T-Mobile being added to the carrier list the growth in iOS share is likely to continue even as the market expands.

I wonder when that big Windows Phone surge is going to happen.

(According to their Wikipedia entry, comScore collects data from a network of users that it cultivates much like the Nielsen Company does for television.)