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About that yacht

I’ve gotten a lot of questions about why I didn’t link to anything about a yacht that was recently reported on throughout the Apple world.

Well, perhaps I didn’t say anything because I’m contractually obligated not to. Ever think of that?

Please note, I’m not saying I am contractually obligated against speaking about this yacht, but I’m not not saying that either. Just to be perfectly clear.

» Why A Yacht Is a Good Investment

If you have to ask if a yacht is a good investment, then you’re probably not “yacht people”.

(h/t Matthew Panzarino)

» Begun, the mega-yacht wars have

CNBC (via an email from reader Don):

The mega-yacht wars have escalated, with a Middle-Eastern billionaire building a 590-foot ship that’s expected to be the largest yacht in the world when it launches next year.

What’s that? You say you want to see pictures of this mega-yacht? Well, let’s just go to the source for all things mega-yacht,

That’s right, I said

There goes my weekend.

» $3.2 million yacht sinks in Lake Tahoe marina

A moment of silence, please.

(Via Peter Cohen)

» Larry Ellison buys Hawaiian island noted for yachting


I’ve been to Lanai — resorts, dolphins, pineapples, golf… eh, golf — but I’ve got to say $600 million seems like a frigging steal.

» LiveLine makes yacht racing TV-friendly

LiveLine combines military grade GPS receivers, high-powered radios, and gyroscopically stabilized cameras to triangulate the distance between competitors. Once this data is transmitted to the ground, operators can add metrics like wind speed, nautical speed, placement in the race, waypoints, and even what country the boat represents, all in real time.

We live in a golden age of yacht-related technologies, my friends.

(h/t Shawn King)

» Super yacht controlled by an iPad

It’s cool and all but I hear Google’s coming out with a yacht in six months that’s an inch longer, runs Flash and is more open.

Gratuitous yacht shot Wednesday

The Utopia

Let me clear something up because there seems to be some confusion on this point. I don’t own a yacht. I never said that I did. What I implied was that I own a yacht dealership because that’s a much better business to be in these days than a car dealership.

I could, of course, own a yacht if I wanted to, but you know the old adage about the drug dealer who gets a taste of the smack. Pretty soon you’re up to a three yachts a day, four yachts… you’re selling your vacation properties and Fabergé eggs just to buy more yachts. I’ve seen it happen. It’s not pretty.

The yacht to the left, the Utopia, was sent in by Sandy Hawkins. Or, more accurately, the picture of the yacht was. Sandy did not send the yacht itself. If she he had it would have been the heist of the century and you would be reading about it on the front page of the New York Times, not here on this Very Nice Web Site.

Sandy believes the Utopia belongs to Microsoft exec Jon Shirley. I can neither confirm nor deny this but it seems like a Microsoft exec would buy something ostentatious like this, doesn’t it? (Sandy has written back to say it turns out the Utopia is owned by some other dude thereby ruining my cheap shot at Microsoft. Sandy further says that he is male, not female as I had assumed, but frankly I’m not sure we can trust anything Sandy says anymore.)

Can you imagine an Apple exec buying something so gaudy? The notion is absurd. Ridiculous.

Everyone knows Apple execs own planes, not yachts.

(I should also point out for full disclosure that I do not actually own a yacht dealership. I could if I wanted to, though.)

Before the fall

The Verge today has a whole slew of announcements from Samsung and Sony about the Windows 8-based…

What to call these things? Toaster-fridges is a pejorative so we shouldn’t use that, but if I may be so bold as to coin a term in keeping with the dumb-ass monickers the technology press likes to use such as “phablets” (it’s a phone… and a tablet!), I suggest these are kablets, seeing as these are tablets with dedicated keyboards.


Good, because that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever written.

Whatever they’re to be called, I’m pretty confused about this whole “category”. What we have here are tablets, tablets with detachable keyboards, tablets with undetachable keyboards that “disappear” and lightweight laptops, all to be made by a myriad of OEMs and Microsoft itself. When they ship this fall, how are consumers supposed to digest all this?

It’s nice to have choices, but it’s not nice to have confusion. This, I’m sure, will sound like Apple apologist bullshit but while Apple’s derided for not providing choice, it’s very clear what they sell. You want a phone, you get an iPhone (3 models in varying capacities). You want a tablet, you get an iPad (two models in varying capacities). Etc.

I’m sure many people will roll their eyes at this and say “I’m pretty sure the market will figure this one out, yacht boy.” But part of what makes Apple successful is that having a limited product line of solid devices makes each of them something of a fait accompli (with a few historical failures). This is the device. Don’t wait another month to see what some other OEM is going to make (or what the same OEM is going to make), get this thing or decide you’re not in this market.

Looking at some of the hardware that will make up the Windows 8 touchscreen device market right now, I don’t even know what I’m looking at.

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In only 3 taps you can remind yourself to:

  • Do laundry when you get home
  • Pick up milk next time you’re at the grocery store
  • Call your wife when you leave work
  • Remember to pick up a cake at 3 pm tomorrow
  • Make a haircut appointment on Tuesday at 10 am
  • Refuel the yacht when you’re at the marina

You can even add a timer to location-based reminders so the alert goes off when you’re ready to get it done — like 15 minutes after you arrive home. That’ll give me time to make a drink first.

I mean you.

OK, me.

Checkmark is available in the App Store for $2.99.

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