The Utopia

Let me clear something up because there seems to be some confusion on this point. I don’t own a yacht. I never said that I did. What I implied was that I own a yacht dealership because that’s a much better business to be in these days than a car dealership.

I could, of course, own a yacht if I wanted to, but you know the old adage about the drug dealer who gets a taste of the smack. Pretty soon you’re up to a three yachts a day, four yachts… you’re selling your vacation properties and Fabergé eggs just to buy more yachts. I’ve seen it happen. It’s not pretty.

The yacht to the left, the Utopia, was sent in by Sandy Hawkins. Or, more accurately, the picture of the yacht was. Sandy did not send the yacht itself. If she he had it would have been the heist of the century and you would be reading about it on the front page of the New York Times, not here on this Very Nice Web Site.

Sandy believes the Utopia belongs to Microsoft exec Jon Shirley. I can neither confirm nor deny this but it seems like a Microsoft exec would buy something ostentatious like this, doesn’t it? (Sandy has written back to say it turns out the Utopia is owned by some other dude thereby ruining my cheap shot at Microsoft. Sandy further says that he is male, not female as I had assumed, but frankly I’m not sure we can trust anything Sandy says anymore.)

Can you imagine an Apple exec buying something so gaudy? The notion is absurd. Ridiculous.

Everyone knows Apple execs own planes, not yachts.

(I should also point out for full disclosure that I do not actually own a yacht dealership. I could if I wanted to, though.)